Trump Staples Words Together to Say He’s “Tested Very Positively” for COVID-19

President Donald Trump, while speaking to reporters outside the White House on Thursday, attempted to describe the results of his latest coronavirus test. That exceedingly simple task proved too much for our president, who rejected a straightforward reply to instead offer this incoherent string of words:

Pres. Trump on his coronavirus test today: “I tested very positively, in another sense, this morning. I tested positively toward negative, right? No, I tested perfectly this morning — meaning I tested negative. But that’s a way of saying it: positively toward the negative.”
— NBC Politics (@NBCPolitics) May 21, 2020

Here’s to watching how the rest of his supposed hydroxychloroquine regimen unfolds.