Dear Donald Trump: Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler have retired

Dear President-elect Donald Trump:

Thank you very much for your latest correspondence regarding U.S. Rep. John Lewis and the Atlanta area that he represents:

We understand that your crash course in world affairs has kept you occupied, and we pray – very hard, actually – that your studies are going well.

However, we feel obliged to bring you up to date on a number of recent developments in metro Atlanta and the surrounding area. Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler have retired. To separate, over-55 enclaves in Henry County, we hear.

Likewise, the metaphorical descendants of Butterfly McQueen and Hattie McDaniel can now be found in the state Legislature and surrounding local governments. It turns out they can do far more than birthin’ babies. Who knew, right?

The fire of 1864 was finally extinguished – in 1864. We have done well since then, with the extraordinary help of John Lewis and others like him, building a rather successful state economy that depends largely on free and unfettered trade with the outside world. We send chicken feet to China. We import car parts for Kia. We suggest that you consult with Gov. Nathan Deal, a Republican with excellent credentials, on the details.

Crime? Yes, we have that. Currently, gas station robberies appear to be a problem, but you need not trouble yourself. The CIA and FBI have other priorities, and we would not want to complicate their mission to protect us from our nation’s enemies, both foreign and domestic.

Again, thank you for your interest. And please allow us to extend an invitation to you for 2018, to visit Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta on next year’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Wishing the best for your upcoming presidency,

Warmest regards, etc. etc.

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